fbpx

Work it Out

When family life is good, children thrive and if parents get on well together it is better for the children. Finding better ways to deal with conflict in the family and communicating in more positive ways helps children feel more secure: children are likely to feel happier, healthier and do better at school. Children who see adults working out relationship problems in a constructive way are more likely to follow this example and have better relationships with others and enjoy life.

What can you both do?

Listen to each other

Maybe you feel you’re at each other’s throats and you’ve forgotten how to have a positive conversation.

  • Choose a calm time – ideally not mid-argument.
  • Seeing things from your partner’s point of view is vital to sorting out any disagreement – for both of you.
  • Start things off on a positive note. Try not to be sarcastic or critical.
  • Think and talk about how this is affecting your children and what you can do differently.

If you want to practice listening skills or watch a video where a couple are first not listening and then listening well go to:  click.clickrelationships.org

Listen to each other

Maybe you feel you’re at each other’s throats and you’ve forgotten how to have a positive conversation.

  • Choose a calm time – ideally not mid-argument.
  • Seeing things from your partner’s point of view is vital to sorting out any disagreement – for both of you.
  • Start things off on a positive note. Try not to be sarcastic or critical.
  • Think and talk about how this is affecting your children and what you can do differently.

Listen to your child / children

Listening – it’s not as easy as it sounds. You might hear something you don’t want to hear such as that your child is unhappy. You might hear something that will make you want to change. To talk with somebody, you’ve got to listen.

Listening carefully is how:

  • you gather information about what’s going on in your child’s life and head.
  • the first step in solving problems is listening which can teach you a lot about what needs to change.
  • children are smart and generally know how arguing is affecting them you just need to listen.

Make a plan, take action by using ‘I’ Statements

This can help you to start to make a plan and help you express how you both feel and what needs to change:

  • I feel = (Name the feeling; upset, annoyed, sad, etc)
  • When = (Describe the behaviour or situation ie: you shout at me)
  • I need = (State the preferred behaviour “you to listen to me and not shout”)

Make a plan, take action by using ‘I’ Statements

This can help you to start to make a plan and help you express how you both feel and what needs to change:

  • I feel = (Name the feeling; upset, annoyed, sad, etc)
  • When = (Describe the behaviour or situation ie: you shout at me)
  • I need = (State the preferred behaviour “you to listen to me and not shout”)

When times are tough, one way of coping through stress and worry might be through drinking. This resource will help you to help yourself by drawing on the good things in your relationship with your partner. It’s about looking at your relationship and seeing ways you can support each other so that you can reduce your drinking. This will be helpful to you and your partner, and also to your children.

Has the information on this page been useful?
Please rate 1 – 5. Thank You!
Rating: 5.00/5. From 4 votes.
Please wait...

If you need help now,

select your council from the dropdown below and click submit. You'll be taken to a page showing your council's contact details and links to specific help in your area.

If you are not sure who your local council is, visit https://www.gov.uk/find-local-council for further information.